This isn’t one for those of you with a squeamish imagination. A wife has been arrested after reportedly chopping off her husbands specials twice. Yes, twice.

Reports in China suggest that 32-year-old father of five, Fan Lung, used his wife’s phone to send his lover an email. Normally we would have said what did he think was going to happen using his wife’s phone to send saucy messages to somebody else, but we’re pretty sure nobody could have predicted him losing his captain, twice.

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After discovering the messages, Feng, his 30-year-old wife, flew into a rage. She was furious, so furious that she’s said to have grabbed a pair of scissors and stormed into their bedroom, where he was sleeping, and snipped off his manhood.

Fan was rushed to hospital, where the organ was sewn back on. Unfortunately for Fan, this story is only at its midpoint.

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Feng then  sneaked into her husband’s hospital room and cut off his penis for a second time, this time throwing it out of a window. The penis is yet to be found and doctors fear that a stray dog or cat took it.

A hospital spokesman said: “The first we were aware of what happened was when someone came into the reception area to say a naked man was beating up a woman outside the hospital.

“Staff rushed out to see what was happening and found the patient with blood streaming down his legs hitting the woman.

“He was stopped and the woman was taken in for treatment, and then we discovered she had chopped his penis off again.”

Fan’s lover who arrived at the hospital said she planned to marry him as soon as she could.

She said: “It doesn’t matter that he’s lost his fertility, he has five children already.”

Feng was discharged and then arrested for grievous bodily harm.

Wow.

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