3

That famous old turn on. It’s been common knowledge for some time now that a bite from a big fat hairy spider will seduce any man into a state of arousal…Wait, what?

Meet the Brazilian Wandering Spider, a spider with some badass powers. Its poison kills someone within two hours of biting them and also gives a man a very painful erection for up to four hours.

Now, if our maths is right, that means your dead body could be discovered by your wife with no indicators of cause of death and a huge erection. What on earth would she think you’ve been up to?

2

Thankfully on this occasion there has been no such dramas. Mum-of-two Maria Layton spotted the spiders when she opened up a bag of bananas bought from Tesco.

The 43-year-old managed to freeze the arachnids just as they begun to hatch. Phew!

‘Siri (her six-year-old daughter) asked for a banana,’ she said.

‘The first banana had a funny bit on it, so I got another one for her and that was when I found the massive spider cocoon.’

Seriously, that would be enough to put us off bananas for life, and supermarkets. In fact, just leaving the house in general…

The post Deadly Erection-Inducing Spiders Found In Tesco Bananas appeared first on The Hook.