Sex Ettiquette

There are a few general rules of etiquette that we should all follow when it comes to sex. This isn’t about taking away your individuality. It’s more about making the experience for both parties a comfortable and happy one, especially when you first meet. 

1. Speak up, or forever hold your peace

In other words, you can’t expect to get something unless you ask for it. Your partner is not a mind reader, so it is unfair of you to expect them to automatically know what you want. 

Honesty is the best policy. It may mean you run the risk of them finding your particular brand of sexy a turn off, but there is only one way to find out.

2. If you don’t like it, let them know

If your partner twists you into an uncomfortable position, or the hands go creeping into areas that they aren’t welcome then say something. By keeping quiet people may get the wrong impression on how you feel about it all.

3. Foreplay is not “optional”

Well, not if you want to go back for more anyway. A good sex life with somebody is a long journey that you take together. Pace yourself and you will both reap the rewards in the long run.

4. Be tactful with your pillow talk

The sex is over and the two of you settle down and have a little chat. Do not mention your ex! It may seem blindingly obvious to most of us, but some people actually do it. There is no bigger turn off than sharing an intimate moment with someone and then realising immediately afterwards that their heart may still lie elsewhere. 

5. If you want to receive it, then be prepared to give it.

Don’t expect your partner to give you head and then roll over and go to sleep. It’s a two way street, if you want the goods then you have to be prepared to hand them out too.

6. Don’t try and unlock the backdoor without a discussion beforehand. 

This isn’t a ‘chance your luck’ kind of sexual activity. It takes time and trust to gain access. You must gain permission before knocking, to try anything else is inconsiderate, uncomfortable and plain rude.

7. Assume that protection is always needed.

This really applies to somebody you have just met. If you don’t have a condom then mention it beforehand, chances are the other person will have. Assuming that you can go skin to skin is a bad shout, it’s not safe and can put people in an uncomfortable situation.

8. Don’t stare

Don’t be the weirdo who stares for an uncomfortably long time into your partner’s eyes mid-coitus. Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean that it’s sexy. Keep lingering eye contact down to three or four seconds, before everyone starts to feel awkward.

9. Make some noise.

Silence during sex can be creepy. If you like something, let them know with some “oh,” “ah” confirmation. Also, if you give vocal affirmation, you’re much more likely to get more of what makes you happy.

10. Keep it off the lady’s face and out of her hair.

However lost in the moment you may be, try and keep your swimmers travelling in a direction that won’t embarrass her. She probably isn’t going to be feeling loved up when she’s in the shower cleansing your little guys away from an unwelcome place.

11. Speak freely about experimentation

If you’re at the stage when you want to start and mix it up, don’t be shy to raise the subject. Speak openly and maturely about things you want to try out, you’ll probably be surprised by the response.

12. Don’t assume you’re welcome to spend the night

Sexual relations does not buy you a ticket to a sleepover. This applies mainly to a one night stand. Chances are that you are invited, but it’s best not to assume. Be willing to take a hint and call a taxi home if needs be.

13. Morning after pill

If this situation arises, then the man needs to step up and be a gentleman. Offer to pay for it, don’t just leave the burden on her shoulders. 

14. If you’re interested, send a text.

Try and avoid all the mind games nonsense. If you just spent the night with someone and you want to see them again, send a simple text later that day to thank them for a good time and see where it leads. 

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