1. On an iPhone, go into the “Settings” app, tap “General,” select “Keyboard,” and scroll down to the “Add New Shortcut” button. Change “dirty clothes” to “acid.”

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2. Change “okay” to “swag b*tch.”

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3. Change “hi” to something embarrassing.

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4. Change “hi” to something even more embarrassing.

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5. Change “hey” to something that will make things really awkward.

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6. Change your name to “king of all that is awesome and powerful, and also has a hell of a d*ck.”

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